After my son was born (two years ago) my wife stopped having sex with me. The only way I could have sex with her was to wake her up in the middle of the night. Once the process was started, she wouldn’t stop me. Well, she had been unhappy and analyzing the marriage last Dec. She was working through some personal issues. I asked if we were o.k., so she started analyzing us. Big mistake. She decided she was unhappy with us.

To make things worse, she went out drinking with a girlfriend one night and came home drunk and then passed out. When I got up for work, I carried her up the stairs and then thought about our usual sexual process. I undressed her and commenced to have sex with her. I am way out of practice, so it only took two maybe 3 seconds for me to finish (embarrassing enough). Anyway, she did not wake up as I had hoped. (She is usually a little fun after a few drinks).

So, bringing up some past I was unaware of, she had been raped twice before she ever met me. Once was when she was drunk and her girlfriend never woke up from her screams. I had no idea about that. Anyway, she views what I did as rape. I don’t blame her, but it was not my intent at all. I wanted a nice sexual moment with my wife. Had I wanted to rape her, I would have done things I know she doesn’t approve of. I didn’t. I just wanted to be with her.

So, long story longer, she has not and says can not forgive me or move on. She says she wants a divorce. I have since reconfirmed my relationship with God (should have never left him). I am trying to give this up to Him to help, but I’m afraid she may be too far gone. It was a one time mistake, that could destroy our family of 4, our marriage, and my life. Please give some advice, and please pray for us.

She has already gone to see a counselor (once) about 4 weeks ago. She said he called it rape as well. Well, we are supposed to go as a couple and see him tomorrow. After he hears my side, I’m hoping he will be able to help. (He is a former Navy Chaplain). However, she told me two days ago that she wants a divorce. Please HELP!

Also remember that God is a God of new beginnings. He does not dwell in our past life. Once you confess your sins before God your past is gone and your new life has come so don’t condemn yourself. Instead bless yourself, your husband and our heavenly father. Amen

I read that you have fasted and prayed, and have repented of your past mistakes. My question to you is, have you prayed for HIM? Rather than assigning blame to yourself or to him, take a moment to realize that we are all human, and therefore subject to temptation. Forgive yourself, and forgive him, then find a good and knowledgeable spiritual mentor (that you KNOW you can trust), then, let God have His way. I pray that all things will work together for your good.

May the Lord grant you peace. Sincerely, Bee