We’re called to live at peace with everyone, including our unbelieving spouses, which can require extra effort on our part,” Ellen says. “We all have to find what works best in our individual situation. There’s no magic formula, but God will help supply the right answers if we ask.”
That said, don’t be afraid to grow. Looking back, I realize my growth has enhanced our marriage and didn’t hinder our relationship, as I originally presumed it would. When I put God first, He changed my heart toward Dean.
God used Paul’s advice to the Colossians to challenge me: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” (3:23). God was asking me to put my whole heart into my marriage —for Him.
Lori, a friend at church, shared with me what God taught her during a difficult period in her marriage. “Regardless of what Steve did or didn’t do, regardless of his salvation status, and regardless of his contribution to the relationship, God expected my best. Marriage isn’t a 50/50 proposition, but rather my giving my 100%.”
Those words have haunted, rebuked, and blessed me many times over the years. She’s right. When I stand before God, I long to hear Him say, “Well done, thou good and faithful wife.” I don’t desire to stand before Him blaming Dean for my shortcomings. “But, God, I didn’t because he didn’t…” Those words won’t carry much weight with the Almighty.
The spiritual condition of my spouse doesn’t change my role except to create a more vital need for obedience to Scripture. As Peter reminds me, the unbeliever will be won over by the behavior —not the words of his believing mate. Even more reason to grow. How an I practice what I do not know? And how can I know unless I grow in my knowledge of God?
Proverbs 31 paints the epitome of a godly woman,yet never states whether her husband practiced faith. With so little revealed about him, I must surmise his spiritual condition held no relevance to her role as a godly wife, nor does my husband’s for me.
So I pass the gauntlet on to you. It’s with love, hope, and prayers I say, “You grow, girl!” Move toward God with passionate fervor. Don’t wait for anyone or anything. May God bless you as you grow in Him!
The above excerpt comes from the book: Spiritually Single by Jeri Odell. It was published by Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City, Missouri. Jeri Odell has been married for 29 years and has persevered alone in her Christian walk for nearly 23 of those years. Preview or purchase this book now
-ALSO-
The following web site link is provided to help you further as you strive to live with your unbelieving spouse to. Please click onto the link provided below to read:
-ALSO-
There was a radio broadcast series titled “When He Doesn’t Believe” with Nancy DeMoss who was interviewing Nancy Kennedy, who is married to an unbelieving husband, that you might find especially helpful. Below are links to the transcripts to this compelling interview. Please click onto the links to read:
And then there is another radio broadcast series with the same women and same title, “When He Doesn’t Believe”, but with additional content that was aired several years later. Please click onto the links below to read the transcripts for:
If you would like to obtain the book that Nancy Kennedy wrote, that was being discussed throughout these interviews, please click onto the link provided below:
“WHEN HE DOESN’T BELIEVE”
Preview or purchase this book now
If you have any additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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(AUSTRALIA) Hi, I have been married for 25 years of which the last 15 I have been a Christian. So much has happened over these last years and recently my husband and I separated because of our communication breakdown. I thought that was the only answer at the time.
I realize that if I had been looking totally to God working in me instead of wanting my husband to understand me, things would probably have not gone this far. We would still both like the marriage to work but do not want to go through the junk we have been through again. My husband does not have a hope in how it could change and has no desire to look to God for help. I don’t personally know anyone who has a positive unequally yoked relationship. I just don’t want to give up on my marriage. Any comments?
(USA) Try the book “My Beloved Unbeliever”. It has helped me in my unequally yoked marriage. It gave me a lot of insight on how to show in my actions that I am a believer without using my words. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.
(NIGERIA) I believe God wants me to show love and obedience to my husband, but when I marry a man who does not share the same faith, does not show love, in fact he is not faithful to the marriage and ends up taking another woman (his faith allows him), what is the way forward?