“Unfortunately, many couples have lost the spark they shared before they married and have replaced it with a humdrum routine. Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns, and can be a lot of fun, but will require some hard work. Planning and energy are imperative for making good times happen. Is it worth the trouble? I’m convinced that the lack of dating and romance in marriage is one of the major causes of broken relationships. Marriages usually don’t collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication and affirmation.” 

“I recently heard a local congressman tell a reporter that he is willing to do ‘anything’ to help rebuild [a war torn country] in the aftermath of its terrible destruction. I thought this was an interesting comment. Not long afterwards, this same man allowed his marriage to fall apart. The physical devastation of [this country] will be repaired within a few years. But once a marriage relationship is destroyed, it can rarely be renovated. ‘Preventative maintenance’ takes ongoing work—work that must be done sooner, not later” (Doug Fields, from the book, Creative Romance).

We’re hoping you’ll make the effort to creatively romance your spouse to prevent your marriage from falling apart because of neglect. You romanced each other before marriage, which helped you to fall in love; now we’re challenging you to romance each other after marriage to help you to STAY in love. Keep in mind that “Love doesn’t commit suicide. We have to kill it. It often simply dies of our neglect.” It is an important mission not to allow this to happen.

To help you in this, you’ll find listed below “Stories of Creative Romance” written by Drew and Kit Coons, which was featured in the February 2005 issue of The Family Room, from Family Life’s online magazine www.FamilyLife.com/familyroom. We hope they’ll give you a few ideas:

Over the years, we have asked couples attending some of Family Life’s marriage seminars (which you can find out about on their web site at www.familylife.com) to give us some romantic ideas they’ve tried out. Here are some of our favorite responses:

1. “Write a love letter, then cut it into about 20 pieces (depending on your spouses patience) and hide it around the house. It’s heaps of fun finding the bits and reading the letter.”

2. “Once my wife came to pick me up from work without the kids and she looked seriously gorgeous .my response (remember I am still in work mode): ‘Where are the kids?’ Duh!! We had a great weekend.”

3. “I think that a good idea is to tell your wife that you think she should take [a generous amount of money] and spend it anyway her heart desires. She will probably spend it on you.”

4. “One day my wife and I were so upset with each other that we stopped talking to each other and went into different rooms. One of us decided to pass a note to our young child to give to the other. The notes became more exciting. Our child was too young to read the notes but enjoyed taking part in what he thought was a game, and we enjoyed reading about what was going to happen after the child went to bed.”

5. “Go to the grocery store and pick out a fun treat together (i.e. favorite kind of apple, or something to munch on in the car). Then go park somewhere with a view, like a sunset or a lake, and enjoy each other’s company.”

6. “Write things that you admire about your spouse on note cards. Then hide those note cards around the house in places that your spouse will discover throughout the day (under the pillow, in a lunch bag, in a book, etc.)”

7. “My husband surprised me one night with a bubble bath, a cold drink, and three books I’ve been meaning to read. He kept all the kids occupied and away from the bathroom. It was so nice and thoughtful! I invited him to join me later (once all the kids were occupied with TV/video games). The rest is history.”

8. “In place of a gift, my husband writes me a heartfelt letter of appreciation. The gifts fade, and the memories of the gifts fade, but my letters of appreciation are kept in a place of honor. I know for certain how much he cares for me.”

9. “Something that always makes me feel good is when my husband leaves little gifts at my desk at work. It is always really nice when my co-workers oohh and aaww like children because of the attention and love my spouse shows for me!”

This final story is one we couldn’t resist, even though the idea backfired!

10. “My husband and I were newlyweds, getting ready to attend a Halloween party given by friends. I came home from work and asked my hubby to answer the door for the trick-or-treaters while I took a bath. As I was running the water, I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun to play a trick on him?’ So I put on my full-length fur coat and sneaked around the house and rang the doorbell. When my husband answered, I threw open my coat and shouted, ‘Trick or treat!’ He was so stunned, he backed up, fell down the steps of the sunken living room, hit his head, and knocked himself unconscious.

I called 911, and had to explain what happened to the police and paramedics. My husband was taken to the hospital, where they said he had suffered a concussion. We never made it to the Halloween party, and, of course, I had to let my friends know why. They thought it was hilarious. My husband and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary soon. Life is so much easier if you have a sense of humor.”

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For more romantic ideas visit the web site mentioned above, and also our web site. We pray these ideas are a blessing! 

Because of the love of Christ,
Cindy and Steve Wright