“Everything is permissible” — but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible” — but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:23-24)

How blessed we are that we have a God who has given us the freedom of choice. And how fortunate we are that when we make poor choices, He doesn’t send lightning bolts from heaven to turn us into crispy critters or we’d all be fried by now. But just because we have freedom of choice it doesn’t mean that we should use that freedom to do whatever we desire without considering the consequences to ourselves, to others, and to “Kingdom work.”

The Psalmist prayed in Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” How wise those words are for us to pray for our own lives!

As it tells us in the Life Application Bible concerning this passage of scripture,

“Realizing that life is short helps us use the little time we have more wisely and for eternal good. Take time to number your days by asking, ‘What do I want to see happen in my life before I die? What small step could I take toward that purpose today?’”

How does all of this apply to marriage? It applies greatly when we realize that we have so many choices as to how we spend our time together and how this can be applied when we own a TV. There’s nothing inherently wrong with watching television. There are times it actually can be of use to us for many differing reasons— one of them being that sometimes we just need time to retreat into something that doesn’t challenge our brain so we can “unwind” for a while.

Psychologist John Gray talks about how watching television can be a way that most men find helpful to unwind from the day’s pressures. He writes:

“Men come home and every day they like to go through a ritual to forget the day. They want to come home and waste time because they’ve been doing ‘useful things’ all day. They have a need to retreat to their ‘cave’ for a while.

“To men the most ‘useful’ thing to do after work is to do nothing useful — just watch TV. They have a need to escape and retreat and not talk about problems for a while to recuperate.”

So in this case, TV can sometimes be useful as long AS LONG AS IT’S NOT OVERDONE. But there comes a time when the line is crossed over, where “relaxing and unwinding,” becomes counterproductive to the health of your marriage. And every couple needs to take the time to assess that for themselves so they’re “on the same page” in how they spend their time.

It’s a lifelong commitment of negotiating as daily we’re bombarded with too many choices as to how we spend our time — especially in this day of advanced technology, which brings everything right into our homes to deal with in some way or another. Recently, we were sent the following illustration from a friend that brings this point to home:

“Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room, talking about life. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I said to her: ‘Dear, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I’d much rather die’.

“Then my wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me… and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD Player, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer! …I ALMOST DIED!”

As humorous as this can be, it also has some truth to it in some homes. We pray you’ll work with each other as a team, finding the proper balance for how you spend your days together. It’s something we continually have to work on ourselves—it just comes with the commitment of marriage.

With that said, we’d like to end with the following poem that was sent to us that has challenged our own hearts. In light of the scripture written at the beginning of this message, there’s a challenge in it for us all. We hope you’ll read this message together and spend some “intentional time” together discussing it —giving each other grace and space, but also working together on that which is “beneficial” and “constructive” to the good of all concerned.

THE 23rd CHANNEL
(Author Unknown)

The TV set is my shepherd.
My spiritual growth shall want.
It makes me to sit down
and do nothing for His name’s sake
because it requireth all of my spare time.
It keepeth me from doing my duty as a Christian
because it presenteth so many good shows
that I must see.
It restoreth my knowledge of the things of the world,
and keepeth me from the study of God’s word.
It leadeth me in the paths
of failing to attend the evening worship services
and doing nothing in the kingdom of God.
Yea, though I live to be 100,
I shall keep on viewing television
as long as it will work.
For it is my closest companion.
Its sound and its picture, they comfort me.
It presenteth entertainment before me,
and keepeth me
from doing important things with my family.
It fills my head with ideas,
which differ from those set forth in the Word of God.
Surely, no good things will come of my life
because my television offereth me
no good time to do the will of God.
Thus I will dwell crownless
in the house of the Lord forever.

Let me (Steve) just say in conclusion that as a recovering “TV-a-holic,” balance in this area of my life is essential. I found myself often spending hours in front of the TV rather than doing anything productive for my spiritual life or my married life.

If after you’ve read through the “23rd Channel” you feel a “check” in your spirit, you may want to ask your spouse if they think you have a problem. If they say, “yes” then see that as a call to make the changes necessary so you don’t rob your spouse, children, or your God of the time they want and need from you.

Steve and Cindy Wright