Have you ever felt like you’ve been in a “tug of war” between you and your spouse and your parents and your in-laws, and somehow you got caught in the middle?

“Why it is so difficult to find a comfortable arrangement with parents, in-laws and other members of your extended family? The idea of leaving your childhood family to unite with your spouse sounds perfectly reasonable. And you’d think making a fresh start free from outside interference would be a joyful adventure.

“In practice, though, this process often seems more like you’re forming a new mega-family that includes parents, in-laws and, come to think of it, your spouse, too” (Ingrid Lawrenz, from article, “In-Law Tug of War”).

And really, when you think about it, you really are! You and your spouse were both members of two independent family units. And now that you are married, you need to form a new family unit where you are partners with each other, and the family units that you used to be in, are to take a back-seat. It’s the “leave and cleave” principle that the Bible talks about.

“But, before spouses can form their own independent family, they have to renegotiate relationships with parents and extended family. And since those bonds took years to form, the process of breaking away to create a new family isn’t complete after the first year, or the fifth. It’s an ongoing task” (Ingrid Lawrenz, from article, “In-Law Tug of War”).

For more insights with that task, we recommend you read more of what Ingrid Lawrenz has to say on this subject. It is featured on the web site for Marriage Partnership Magazine. To read this article, click onto the link below:

• IN-LAW TUG OF WAR

-ALSO-

To read an article on the Crosswalk.com web site on the subject of dealing with conflict with in laws, please click onto the link below:

• SHOULD IN-LAWS BE OUTLAWED?

And then there is an additional article posted on the Marriage Partnership Magazine web site that you could find helpful as well. Please click onto the link below to read:

• BOUNDARIES FOR IN LAWS

If you have additional tips you can share to help others on this issue, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.