When you are called by God to be a missionary, you eventually have a fairly good idea of what your calling will be and what will be the focus on your ministry. There will always be some surprises and “extra miles” that you will have to travel, to do what God has called you to do, but that is all part of your calling. You are a servant of God who ministers to others as an instrument of the Lord.

But have you considered that your marriage is also a ministry?

“We are all familiar with the idea that we are Christ’s body on earth—His hands, His feet. It is through us that He reaches out to the world. But it’s easy to forget that we are Christ’s hands and feet to our [spouse]. That’s why seeing your marriage as ministry may require an intentional shift of perspective.” (From the book, “Because I Said Forever”)

Your marriage is not something that you can or should compartmentalize apart from your ministry to those outside of your home. Your marriage is equally important, if not more-so, than your ministry outside of your home, because you are representing Christ to your bride (just as Christ is the bridegroom to the church, His bride). Your spouse, as well as others, are to be your ministry-focus.

When you married, you became covenant partners with your spouse and with God to help address each other’s aloneness. God Himself acknowledged from the beginning that “it is not good for man to be alone.” He said this even though He was walking and fellowshipping with man.

God knew that there are certain emotional and temporal needs that a human being — a marriage partner, is created to meet. And there are certain emotional and temporal needs that you are created to meet for your marriage partner. “And the two shall be one.”

That is part of your role in the covenant of marriage. It is a cord of three strands with God being involved right from the start.

Problems can arise however, when someone who is in full-time ministry, such as a missionary or a pastor, forgets or overlooks the importance of the partnership of marriage, which was entered into with his/her spouse.

The rite of ordination does not override the rite of marriage. Both are noble callings, and one is not the “higher calling.” Both were instituted by God for the sanctification of his people. By some curious act of his grace, this sanctification includes the [those in full time ministry]. (Gregory P. Elder)

You made the choice to go into the ministry. And with that choice came certain “duties and obligations.” You also made the choice to marry. And with that choice, certain “duties and obligations” came with it as well. Your options changed as far as how much time you can devote to the ministry apart from your spouse and keep your relationship healthy and strong — one that strongly reflects the love relationship between the Bridegroom (Christ) and His Bride — which is what every Christian marriage is supposed to represent.

When you were unmarried, you had the freedom to be “undivided” in the attention you could dedicate to the Lord’s work. But in 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul warns you is to realize that things change once you marry. And as he said,

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs — how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world — how he can please his wife — and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world — how she can please her husband.

“I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

When you marry, your ministry becomes divided between ministering within the home and outside of the home. BOTH become your concern and your focus at this point.

But keep in mind that this doesn’t mean that your ministry is lessened, it just means that it is redirected so that not only do you minister outside of your home, but also within it as well. You represent Christ to your bride, so don’t forget the calling of your ministry with your wife and family.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. And after all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body.

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself…” (Ephesians 5:25-33).

Not only is it important to love your wife “as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her”, because you have entered into covenant with her and with God, but also so that you don’t bruise her emotionally. Your spouse should not be any less important than others that you minister to outside of the home. When you hurt her, or neglect her, how will you be able to “present her” to God “as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish?”

Also, your marriage is a living example of Christ’s love for the church, both within your home and outside of it. As others observe how you treat your wife, the love of the Lord should be evident. It gives the Lord the opportunity to draw others to Himself as they observe your behavior. It’s another evangelistic vehicle that the Lord can use as you avail yourself.

Something that Ravi Zacharias said, in his book, I, Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah is relevant to your calling in considering your marriage as a ministry and as an evangelistic “tool.” He wrote:

Some time ago, I was lecturing at a major university, and by the tremendous response both in the numbers of students attending the sessions and in their questions, it was evident to all that God was at work.

As the man who had organized the event drove me to the airport, he said something that was quite jolting to me. He said, “My wife brought our neighbor last night. She is a medical doctor and had not been to anything like this before. On their way home, my wife asked her what she thought of it all.” He stopped and there was silence in the van for a moment. He continued, “She said, ‘That was a very powerful evening. The arguments were very persuasive. I wonder what he is like in his private life.’”

I have to admit it was one of the most sobering things I had ever heard. She was right. Did these lofty truths apply in private as well as in public discourse?

The truth is that God calls us to first practice truth in private so that its public expression is merely an outgrowth of what has already taken place in the heart and not a decoration over a hollow life. Developing that strength of character in private is foundational.

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Your marriage is another vehicle that God wants to use to draw others to Himself. As Dr Charles Swindoll says,

Marriage is the foundation of family life, and marriage is one of God’s greatest tools for ministry. Let me say that again … marriage is one of God’s greatest tools for ministry. Our goal isn’t to build stronger marriages. It’s to build stronger marriages for a purpose — ministry. (From the article, “The Ministry of Marriage” featured on the web site Crosswalk.com)

The purpose is so that when others see how we interact with each other in ways that display the love of God, it could very well attract them to our lives, our homes, and ultimately to want to know our God better. And isn’t that the point of the ministry that God has called you to, as a minister of the gospel?

We pray you will prayerfully consider these points, examine your marriage and ask the Lord to show you anything that you may or may not be doing that needs to be corrected in the present and future. You may want to pray what the psalmist prayed in Psalm 139:

Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

To read another article on this subject, please click onto the web site link below:

• MINISTRY AND MARRIAGE IN THE SCRIPTURES

The above article was written by Steve and Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions.