Basically I had given up and have been a complete basket case of sadness and pain and even stopped praying and going to church because it hurt so much since I wasn’t seeing any change……BUT GOD HAS MOVED AGAIN ON MY HEART TO TRY AGAIN! Its almost funny because our situation is ridiculously horrible when you just look at it and know all the facts but …..NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD! I can see now, that especially during these last 6 mos. I had given up- just laid down and died- took all my “armor” off and let the devil have his way. God is so so so good to rekindle that spark of hope again in my heart and to draw me again to his word and to begin standing on HIS PROMISES again for my marriage- no matter what… period.

My friend told me about this book today- what timing! I can’t wait to get it. I told her I am done being the “VICTIM” -(although, yes, I have been affected) but realize that the real victim is my husband’s mind that the devil is wanting to destroy (and with it our marriage and family). I have begun praying EVERYTIME he comes to my mind, even at my work. And instead of asking God why he is doing/saying all the negative I am lifting him up to JESUS and praying LIFE, godly charater and angelic protection over him and basically calling him into rightousness…by faith!!

It looks impossible in the natural, but my GOD is a God of miracles- of forgiveness- of mercy- of redemption- of reconcilliation- ….!!!!! I am not allowing my mind to accept a “plan B- well if it doesn’t work out” kind of thinking anymore. I want to grow with God during this time as well as ask him to forgive me for my responses in the past to my husband in how I dealt with the accusations. I know this will be hard but the Lord is on my side and I know I am praying HIS will for us!

I do really need prayers right now. I need a restoration in my marriage. Please let someone join hands with me in spirit and pray for my husband to release his anger and bitterness towards me despite asking for forgiveness. I cry everyday, at work, at home. Just anywhere. I do pray too, but now I don’t have enough strength to carry on like this

He finally gave up the drugs, alcohol and women for God. After 10 years he is a new man. But I still have the scars that are planted in my heart. I try and try to change (trying to fall in love again), but I keep remembering the past and still feel the pain inside. Also, I keep lying too when things (finances) hit the wall. I thank you for expressing yourself and keep the faith. We are here for one another and like LT said we shouldn’t bash our men, but keep praying. God does hear our prayers, now for the healing process. I need to learn to let go of control. And let God take control. I pray for each of you and your families. Keep your head up and thank you again for the encouragment.

As far as what you can do… consistency over time might help, if your husband eventually gives you a chance to show your sincerity in being a wife who is affirming rather than de-valuing, in your approach to your husband.

Continue to pray (despite the length of time that you remain in a waiting room experience) and ask God for insight and the opportunity to bless your husband in the ways He shows you is best. You can’t FORCE your husband to open his eyes to your changed ways or continue to beg and grovel, because it could put your relationship on a false foundation. It’s not sustainable (nor should it be).

All you can do is pray for him (which is a lot, when you figure you have the God of the Universe working on your behalf). Pray that God will open the eyes of your husband’s heart towards you and pray and work on yourself and your issues (to become a better and more positive person)– to be a dispenser of encouragement rather than a vessel of criticism. It’s an uphill battle, but SO vital! I pray the Lord blesses your efforts and your marriage relationship.

Is there hope? I do love my husband very much and since he has been gone (about a week) I have come to the realization of how much responsibility he had on him and the stress. I feel awful and want to keep apologizing for my lack consideration and negligence. He has felt unloved.

Besides this book, what can I do? He doesn’t want to talk to me and has said that he does not want to go to marriage counseling. He does however, plan to spend time with our children (17 and 20) over the Christmas holiday. I guess I’m included.

Don’t want to feel desperate, but my heart is aching. I miss him terribly and am praying that he will give us another try to work toward a healthy relationship. I am fearful it may be too late for him and that he loves me, but is not in love with me. I am praying for wisdom and guidance. Thanks for letting share my thoughts.

Also, at my church, in addition to our fantastic rector, we are blessed to have a semi-annual guest speaker from Canada, Father Todd Atkinson. He is a man of incredible gifts, and his sermons on healing are some of the best I’ve ever heard. I hope you will be blessed by them as well. Free podcast available here:
http://www.standrewsgainesville.org/guest_sermons/ God bless you and your whole family!

Lord, I am praying that YOU, Father reveals the truth to Linda’s husband so that he can be reassured of hers but most of all YOUR faithfulness and let go of his bitterness and anger can be released. So that Joy may be restored. Father, the devil would love to tear this family apart but I just pray Your protection over them and that the can come together in YOU. I pray this in your son Jesus’ name. Amen.

God Bless you girl. Love, Lynne

While he was away, he started accusing me of having affairs because that is what he heard. There were no affairs but he was and is still convinced they were there and this has caused him to treat me badly it hurts me so much and I find it difficult to pray. He is also now drinking everyday and says he cannot go to church. This also hurts me because my children are growing up without the father raising them in way of the Lord. I am worried about how this will affect my children. My son already does not want to go to church and I have to force him.

So many times I have thought of just packing and leaving but then I think of what the Bible says, but then I always ask myself if it is what God wants for us to be in so much pain day in and day out. Sometimes I find my own faith wavering and not really believing that God can save my marriage. Please pray for me that I can remain strong in the Lord and that I will learn to pray for my husband and my marriage and to totally trust in God for everything. I am about to start reading Power of a Praying Wife and I am excited about it because I have heard so many good things.

Things with my marriage are still rough, but we are trying. My husband has made so many changes but things still hurt. God is healing though. Please just pray for us. We could use it. Seems like there’s been a little back sliding lately. But praise God we are now in a samll group at church that is focusing on marriage. So hopefully it will help. The thing that is awesome is that God spoke to my husband to choose the small group that was based on marriage and the hubby actually suggested. Thank goodness. God is working. We also welcomed our second child last month. He is so beautiful. Praise God.

How is everyone elese doing? Cindy, LT, Anne,Sue, Miss ya ladies. I still pray for you occationally. I will step it up is there anything new I can pray for? Love, LYNNE

For past year or two we have been arguing a lot. There’s a lot of misscommunication and misunderstandings and we start arguing. We are living in separate homes that we own because the arguing got so bad. We visit each other. We are in our 60s and he is impotent because of diabetes, so sex is no longer a part of us. He has been retired for the past 5 years, but he stays active with hobbies and things. I am also retired.

The arguing has gotten so bad that I’m thinking about divorce. Even living apart is not helping. I don’t know how much more I can take. The aggravation and the strife is really bad. I still love him and he says he still loves me, but I’m not sure if love is enough for us. Just wanted to unload. Thank you.

God is Love my dear, when it comes to us, we are special. Talk to GOD and ask Him for everything that you need Him to do for you. He will surely do it for you. Also pray for your husband. You can’t change him, but GOD can.

How do I talk to him? I have tried to talk to him. He wont say anything to me. I asked him what he wanted to eat; he turned around and said he wont eat food made by me. He has been drinking since 09:00 CAT time. What should I do? I have prayed; I don’t know what to do now. Please help me or pray for us. He wont even sit in the same room.

I tell you when I came back home and saw this prayer, it was than that I realized what God made me do and it was because of this unforgiveness that his power and miracle was not able to flow in my life.

Pray this prayer but pray it with Faith… God truly answers, although it takes time for some of us. But his timing is perfect. Love and prayers, RD

My husband is saved but he has completely backslidden. He has compromised our values and allowed things into our home that are ungodly. I am one of the leaders of a ministry for women held once a week at another location. I have sought counsel as to whether I should step down from this ministry because my husband is my primary ministry.

The advice I was given was to be willing in the heart to give that up if I felt God was asking me to. I do feel that this is a spiritual attack directed at me. The “before-Christ” anger problems and selfishness he used to portray are back, and all seemed to be directed at me.

God spoke to me saying that I should be silent toward him, but love him without words. Basically, I feel God is telling me “Don’t ask him why he is doing this, you already know. Don’t tell him how bad he is hurting you, he already sees it. Don’t politely offer to read the Bible with him, he doesn’t want to do that, and he interprets it as nagging.” God has told me to love him unconditionally, pray for him continually, refuse to participate in his sin, but let him be accountable to HIM for his sin, not to me.

This is easier said then done. I always thought I was a sweet, encouraging wife. I never, ever thought of myself as a nag. I have never noticed that I may have been doing this until I began to catch myself “not being silent.” For instance, My husband and I are trying to leave town as I am typing this. We have to get to the airport. He was changing the oil in the car this morning when he stormed in screaming and yelling that he couldn’t find the oil filter because the garage is such a mess.

Now, he has taken 2 weeks off of work to catch up on some things and to take a break from stress, yet he has spent those 2 weeks fishing every day. So now, he is in a bind and he is stressed out because of his own problems. I so badly wanted to say very kindly “Well, sweetie, maybe you should have taken one day off from fishing so that you could get your garage straightened out.” To me, I would not have thought this as nagging before, just common sense. I was trying to help him.

Then God said to me “Do you think he doesn’t already know these things?” Wow! You know what, he does know. I am not the Holy Spirit, God is. If anyone can show him a better way it is the Lord.

Please continue to pray for me because this is actually wayyyy more difficult than I ever thought it would be.

“…so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” – 1 Peter 3:1

Lord, please give me a spiritual straitjacket when I want to react out of hurt of frustration. I pray that you would put your hand over my mouth, make me bite my tongue, whatever it takes. Father, when I get out of your way, you can do marvelous things! I ask you to help me this week to be more Christlike. Help me to set a godly example for other women. I pray all this in the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen.

My husband is doing well too. He is growing so much. The rehab that he is in is very Christ centered. Praise the Lord he will be getting to come home in about a month. Which is a huge relief because I am just having a really hard time. I am getting huge and have had a few complications, but praise the Lord. The baby is good and so am I. God really does provide. I have really learned about trusting lately. Well, I better get back to work too. I love ya gal and I’ll be keeping you in my prayers. Love, Lynne

I tell you it has done wonders for my marriage as my hubby and I grow in maturity, practicing what we were taught and what God expects from us. We’re still learning as we go along. I can see a lot of changes in my husband though, and all that is truly God coz I even began a prayer journal for my husband. All I need is to have a much stronger spiritual relationship with him. I’m praying for that so please keep us in your prayers. Actually, he did mention that he feels/thinks like he’s gonna be in ministry so I’m really praying for God’s guidance and direction. I’ve missed you lots.

How’s the baby and how is your husband doing? Keep me informed. In my prayers gal. Love you all.

Lynne, I’m glad that you’re doing well. It’s understandable how you might think that way, it’s fearful to trust your husband after all he’s done. On the other hand you need to remember that the enemy is gonna use that and lie to you and he’s lying to you now about your husband. The enemy’s joy is to see you fall and your marriage not succeeding and he’s not happy that your husband is doing better.

I’m reading a book by Sharon Jaynes called “Lies Women Tell Themselves.” It’s about the lies that the enemy whispers to us, and unfortunately, we believe. She has a suggestion that sounded odd and that’s the idea. I decided to share so that you can replace the devil’s lie with truth. When you think your husband is gonna go back to his old ways, add in Jesus name to the end of that sentence and you’ll know that’s the devil trying to weigh you down because the truth is, Jesus wants you to lean on Him and believe your husband is gonna be fine because his trust is in God.

Try it and you’ll see how wrong it sounds to add Jesus’ name at the end of a negative statement and after that think of a scripture or pray. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” Remember God’s truth when the enemy comes to destroy. You’re both in my prayers. Shella, hope this helps you too. Take care ladies – God is with you – this is not impossible to God. You just have to see what God is teaching you in the process. Love you all.

Things with me have been good. I went to church with my husband on Sunday. He invited me to the church that the rehab takes them to, and they allowed him to sit with me. It was really nice to sit with him and hold his hand while hearing a great message about the Lord. I was sad when it was over but I was glad I got to go. My husband really seems to be doing well, and finding the Lord again. I praise God for that because only He could make that happen.

My only fear is that this change won’t last. I just keep waiting for my husband to turn back into his normal mean self. I realize now that I am not trusting God. It is true that I don’t have any faith left in my husband right now, but I am not trusting God as I should to restore that. Please pray for me that I can stay aware of my trust issues and whom they are really towards. I love ya all. Hope every one is having an awesome day.

How is everyone? Has anyone heard from LT? I really pray she is doing well. I pray that all of my girls from the mission are doing well. Love, Lynne