There are all kinds of different reasons why we SHOULD and all kinds of different reasons why we SHOULD NOT say something to our spouse when they aren’t doing things the way we think they should. And when they won’t “listen” to us and SHOW they’re listening by changing what they’re doing (or not doing) then we’re tempted to nag and criticize and say more than we probably should.
The Bible (in Ecclesiastes 3) says “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven… a time to be silent and a time to speak.”
The problem is in knowing what season we’re in — when we perceive a problem with our spouse are we to speak or to be silent?
For years I went around thinking that if my husband, Steve, was going to “listen to reason” I was the appointed one to tell it to him because I was sure I had the wisdom he needed to listen to. After-all, I didn’t see anyone else around who was volunteering for the job!
But then I had a friend who told me about the “Duck Principle.” No, I’m not talking about the “quack, quack” kind of animal, but instead, ducking out of the way so God Himself would have the opportunity to talk to my husband instead of me. As long as I stood over my husband and flapped my mouth at him saying things that I thought he needed to hear (and yet he was closing his ears to anyway) I was standing in the way of what God could do or say to change Steve’s heart over the matter.
With me out of the way, God has full access to him. It’s amazing how liberating and how wise this is. I’m no longer responsible, God is. And if God sees it necessary to talk to Steve—or even to me, for that matter (because the Lord knows I’m not all-knowing), I’m not standing in God’s way any longer. Sometimes I need to DUCK and get out of God’s way!
I’ve found that by stepping aside and giving God full access to the situation as I committed it to Him, better things came about. If nothing else, it helped my faith and my prayer life to grow as I released my grip over the situation. I’ve found that too often we do too much horizontal talking to each other and not enough vertical talking to God about situations that concern us. After-all, the Bible DOES tell us that God cares very much about all that burdens our hearts. Why not ask for wisdom as to whether to say something or not, and commit it to God?
To give you further insight, we’ve listed below several links to articles that can help you to see different perspectives on the question of whether to speak or to be silent in your communication with each other as husband and wife. I pray you will read them with an open heart and mind. I urge you that before reading them you will pray (and then obey what God tells you):
Search me O God and know my heart.
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there be any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Psalm 139:23-24)
THE NAGGING HABIT
How both of you can go cold turkey to kick it…
-by Robert Moeller
TO READ THIS ARTICLE
from the terrific publication,
Marriage Partnership Magazine:
THE JOY OF NAGGING?
Why guys should be thankful for their wives’ gentle prodding…
-by William R. Mattox, Jr.
TO READ THIS ARTICLE
from the terrific publication,
Marriage Partnership Magazine:
5 THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO YOUR SPOUSE
Statements that can hurt your relationship if you say them…
-by Anne Russ
TO READ THIS ARTICLE
from the helpful publication,
Marriage Partnership Magazine:
A PIERCING SILENCE
What I learned when I finally got quiet enough to let God speak…
By Renny Gehman
TO READ THIS ARTICLE
from the terrific publication,
Marriage Partnership Magazine:
Print This Page (printer-friendly)
Email This Page
and do your online shopping. 
0 comments so far ↓
There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.
Join the Discussion!