The hecticness of work, community service projects, church activities and family often relegates a marriage relationship to the bottom of the list. At times, it’s necessary to give attention to others. It’s also important to keep something else in mind. Your spouse is the one most likely to be with you when you’re teetering around with a cane! With that in mind, take time to date your spouse regularly. Here are a few reasons why:

1 . MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS ARE DYNAMIC. They’re alive and always changing. They need to be fed and stimulated to stay alive.

2. THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. Dating is a good way to create a safe environment. Your spouse is more likely to let you know “what’s new!”

3. INVEST IN THE FUTURE. Just like a savings account — it’s easier to add a little to an existing account and watch it grow than to start a new one from scratch. That’s because the interest grows exponentially over time.

4. YOU GOT MARRIED BECAUSE YOU DATED! It only stands to reason that a good way to stay married is to keep dating.

5. MARRIAGE CAN BE COMPARED TO A SET OF TIRES. During the course of driving, there’s normal wear and tear. Dating serves to maintain alignment, balance and pressure. When done well, your marriage will last a lifetime.

6. DATING IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FOCUS. Day in and day out, various distractions, pull your attention away from your spouse. Dating each other helps you to refocus on the person at the top of your priority list.

7. REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES! A good date will often bring up pre-marriage memories. Recalling memories can generate anticipation for your next meeting.

8. CREATE YOUR FUTURE. Dating lays the framework for future family gatherings. Great dates attract your spouse and family to want to spend time with you.

9. LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE. It must be true. Laughing together makes it possible to hurt together when you must.

10. REMIND YOUR SPOUSE, “I LOVE YOU!” There are many ways to say, “I love you!” A date is one of the special ways to honor your spouse.

TRY IT STARTING THIS WEEK! Set up 5 dates with your spouse. Reserve them on your calendar. Plan. Anticipate. HAVE FUN!

The above “Top Ten List” is an excerpt from Intentional Partnerships Newsletter, “Lutheran Coffee Break!” Year 2, Edition 10, January 5, 2000. It is written by Carwin Dover, a Relationship Coach who coaches individuals, couples and families to balance their work and family relationships.