1. Do something for her that shows her she is thought of but without it being something routine or something she had to tell me about. Have to keep it interesting. Sometimes routines are endearing, like when a husband always orders for his wife at dinner, but my wife needs routines and more.

2. Take the time with her to give her affection and physical and sexual intimacy. When I really do this regularly, when I pursue her in this way on a regular basis, she is much happier and we are much closer. Emotional intimacy becomes more effortless and enjoyable, as well.

3. Brag about her to others while she is there or when I know she will hear about it… and do it even when she may never hear about it.

4. Be honest and transparent. This is me giving myself to her as I am. It’s not a perfect gift , but it is a gift she loves, and it builds so much closeness between us. When there are things I’m hiding or that I’m building up inside me, she can see it on me a mile away. She wants to know I’m connected to her.

5. Listen to her without trying to fix her. Huge. Enough said.

6. Include her in what’s going on. When I get a card from my sister or had an uncomfortable talk with my boss… she wants to be included. So, I try to include her.

7. Take responsibility for something. There are few things that stress her out more than making her feel like her husband doesn’t take care of her. Conversely, when I step up and take care of things, especially without dilly-dallying when it comes to making a decision, it makes her feel safe and cared for.

I’ll also throw in one I was reminded of recently: Never go to get something out of your wife’s purse! Respect her personal, private space. She’ll love you for it!

All of these are important to her and I need to share them with her. Furthermore, I attempt to listen to her heart. what are the things that impact emotionally on her in a bigger way. This needs discernment. I do not always get it right the first time but it usually comes with more listening. Two ears and one mouth is the basic principle of this engagement.

I also call her by a special name from time to time. This happens from talking to sending SMSs to her etc. I will also touch her when we walk past each other. This should suffice for the moment. Thanks for all the other comments prior to mine.

Then there are the simple romantic things of going to dinner/movie, vacation time, warm towel out the dryer when she steps out of the shower, wearing my wedding ring though I don’t like wearing jewelry. There is a lot you can do, but probably the things she appreciates are probably not even said. The biggest way I do know for her is that I love God, therefore it is easier to love her.

The relationship that God wants to have with us is likened to Marriage (with all its ills). Theresa, it’s hard to give when you are looking at receiving. Give because it is what God requires of you and God will bless you. You know there is a command to love in the Bible, but LOVE cannot be commanded. It must flow from the heart. I will pray for you. Don’t stop respecting your husband.

I am a professional woman and would not even think in my wildest dreams I would want to do laundry, cook, clean the house etc, and still work outside home full time. But the Lord delivered me from self- centredness and laziness when I asked Him to. It was so difficult to admit that I was lazy and selfish and then pray about it, but it worked. Jesus is still at work. All the credit and the glory belongs to Jesus.

My husband appreciates that I do all these things for him and that I don’t hire someone else to do it for me/him.

I do things that he loves to do. I have even taken into fishing because he loves it. He loves that his wife can go fishing with him. I watch his favorite TV programmes with him instead of nagging him into stopping watching them. I have noticed that I wind up liking them at the end even though they were not particularly my favourate pragrammes at the moment eg. boxing matches, Discovery Channel etc.

It makes me happy to serve my husband in this way, I am so honored to minister in his life in anyway that I can. He is a very special man to me. I am so blessed that God gave him to me. He is a very good husband and father; I love him with all my heart.

We have had our fair share of problems, but God has been at work in our lives and marriage. His finger prints are all over our marriage.

First things first, there are probably a million and one ways to show love, but personally l prefer to keep things nice and simple. My wife loves tea, and as such l make countless cups for her, whenever we are together. That always scores me points (not that that is the objective). She appreciates each and every one of those cups, because l put my all in each cup l make. Whenever she is making dinner (or anything else really) in the kitchen, l always make it a point to keep her company (instead of watching tv). Over time l have realised these “cooking” sessions have turned out to be nice bonding times. We live busy lives and at times it’s hard to get opportunities to do something nice, so l make it a point to be involved in whatever she does. (She does that for me too). Set the table, massage her, bathe her (yes, l do that, thank you!!!!!), txt messages all day, calls etc. All that is nice.

The idea is not necessarily to be spontaneous all the time, but rather be consistent in showing you appreciate her being in your life. l have learnt an overdose of the good acts/stuff, surely does carry you through those few bad days you might have.

The best way that I know to make any man happy and feel loved, is RESPECT. You respect him, his likes and dislikes, speak and act respectfully, especially before others. Make him feel like a king and for sure, he will make you feel like the queen you are. Men don’t need too much. Make sure the home is a place he can go to for solace and let him feel respected and honoured. Most of the fights come from lack of respect, which may include being rude, using a demeaning tone, doing things without agreeing with your spouse, overidding his decisions, especially with the kids and many more small things.

One more thing that made my hubby real proud is when I changed my name officially to his. This was big for him and I love what it has done for both of us. It’s the small ‘meaningless’ things that count the most.

We also take time every night to do a daily devotional. We’ve only been married two months (going on three) and we’ve seen each other only once (for a long weekend) during that time. We do have another long weekend planned in two weeks

My answer to the question is that since I got married to my husband I tried many things to show love to my spouse but he does not even see it. I normally send away my daughter on weekends in order to spend time with my husband, but he will respond by being moody, uninterested, passive and he won’t even stay next to me when watching TV. This is a pin in my heart. Recently I planned to prepare him a hot bubble bath and massage but he refused all my services to him. He even refused to have romance and said he is tired and does not want his body to get used to those kind of feelings. I don’t know what to do anymore to show that i love him.