I regret the whole thing and I want to get back home, but he says he needs time to think about it. I am afraid it’s the end of our marriage. I was a fool. I only pray we resolve it and reconcile if possible.

What strikes me as a compliment to this subject is not just the idea of not being forgiven by the other person. Even more often, the other person has wronged you, and doesn’t think they’ve done anything wrong.

My ex-wife, you know, one of those women who don’t cheat, had an affair. Yet years later, no apology, nothing. In fact, she told me that what she did was NOT WRONG. So when I see this sort of thinking, that women don’t cheat, I have to speak up. Because when folks believe such lies, they begin to act as my ex-wife did and believe they can do no wrong, or that they are morally superior to their husbands, so anything they do is justified.

So as a complimentary topic to this one, how about we ponder what to do when folks wrong you and then act as if what they did was not wrong, no big deal, etc?

Personally, I believe we are to offer forgiveness, just as Christ did. But that forgiveness is only complete and effective when the person in the wrong confesses that sin and repents. We cannot forgive someone who is unwilling or unable to do that. All we can do is to be ready to forgive, as Christ is ready to forgive. But just as with Christ, if we don’t accept His forgiveness, we’ll pay the price.

I’m not saying that we should punish those who sin against us. We leave that to God. But we cannot declare them forgiven unless they accept the forgiveness offered, as in the example of Christ and our Salvation. Forgiveness, like salvation should be offered to all, but is not effective unless accepted by the sinner.

Now I am missing my husband. He won’t take my calls, he won’t reply to my text messages. I am so stressed and tired I don’t know what to do. How do I show him I am sincere in my apology when I can’t even see him? Nothing I say matters to him.

I really need to get through to him, but how? I realize I was praying wrongly. I will ask God to open his spirit. I know God hates divorce, and I want my husband of 9 years back. Please pray for my husband and I. Let God open his spirit so that he talks to me and restore my marriage. I cry everyday and have become a shadow of myself. The last message I sent was to tell him I will kill myself and still he did not reply. I need your prayers please.

I would cry myself to sleep and he would never even show sympathy. We would stay without talking to each other for over 3 weeks. What kind of marriage is that? I needed him and he was never there.

Out of frustration, I joined a single networking group on the Internet. I found wonderful people who understood my pain. I became closer to one of them, and we would communicate everyday. He made an effort to come and visit me in my country, my husband discovered the relationship after he had gone back to his country. This is when he is trying to make things between us work.

You never showed you care, and now you are paying the price. When you get back together, be a good husband. Women do not cheat anyhow, but can hit back. It was not a good thing for me, but I was lonely and hurting. Good luck. I am not really religious person, but I love God and I felt guilty when I met the other man. I thought my husband hated me.

As far as you feeling like you don’t belong at church, have you ever opened up and exposed your childhood? You would be surprised at how many others are keeping that same secret, ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone. Your testimony could probably save somebody’s life! Get in a group at church or get some Christian based counseling to help you deal with your issues. Just because your family is materially prosperous, they are spiritually broke, and end the end, we can’t take our possessions with us.

I encourage you to pray for them and their salvation, sometimes even fast, and let God take care of the rest. He will. He won’t put more on you than you can bear. Let go and let God have his way! You don’t need God’s forgiveness for telling. He already knew what you were going through. And if the rape is still going on with any minors, it is your responsibilty to notify the authorities. Yeah, your family will be peeved, but they already are mad at you anyway. At least you could possibly save someone else from the pain that you are going through. Do not be ashamed, lift your head up high… God loves you more than you love yourself.

True love (God’s version of love) rejoices in the truth. You told the truth. Anyone who has been violated knows it. You know you’re not lying. You’ve got God guiding you and prompting you to come out. Your family sounds like they do not have God. The same verse says true love does not rejoice in evil. Your family would rather keep turning heads (rejoicing in evil). They prefer to hide the truth.

Jesus is the truth, the way and the light. Satan wants to cloud that fact from the whole world, thereby "hiding the truth," same as your family. It seems clear (and hopefully it is to you, too) by reading your post who in your family is siding with truth and who is siding with Satan.

Bless you for sharing the evil and bringing it into the light. May our God comfort and and bring you joy, despite your current trials. Thanks for writing.

Right now, the enemy of our faith looks victorious. But as the old saying goes, “It ain’t over yet!” I encourage you, with all that is within, to look beyond the pain and the injustice you are presently experiencing, to see the bigger picture here.

The enemy of our faith is called a liar and one who steals. You can see the power of this type of influence, in what you have experienced and are experiencing. Those who give in to that lifestyle, though they may look like they are prospering for a season, live on slippery ground. From the outside, you look defeated, but all is not over. What you see going on is temporary by God’s time line. I pray you will hold on to that truth and look to the Lord for the victory He will bring about.

Just like it was with those who hurt and crucified Jesus, they looked like the victors for “a season” as if they were “winners.” But as is often the case, it was darkest before the dawn. And it WAS real dark for a time. But God eventually showed forth the dawning of His victory and defeated the enemy of our faith. (We can also see that with the life of the Apostle Paul, and the lives of the disciples, and other saints as well — good looked defeated. But God in His timetable, brought victory for the good of others down through the generations– including you and me.)

Recently, I wrote to someone else on the web site about what I learned in Psalm 73. I think it would be good for you to read it also because it’s a good example of someone (Asaph) crying out to God over the confusing circumstances he was living through (just as you are going through a time of confusion at this time). In it, he questioned why some people who do evil are allowed to get away with all kinds of injustices, and yet they appear to prosper. In verse 12 he says, “This is what the wicked are like — always carefree, they increase in wealth.” And then he questioned whether living “right” was worth it for him as he compared what was happening to him as opposed to what was happening to them. He said, “Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence. All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning. If I said, ‘I will speak thus,’ I would have betrayed your children. When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me…”

He TRIED to understand and even questioned the wisdom of living in God’s ways. He said, “when I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me TILL I ENTERED THE SANCTUARY OF GOD; then I understood their final destiny.” When he went to God, eventually in the sanctuary of being before the Lord in prayer, he saw things he didn’t see before. He went on to say that God revealed to him the “slippery ground” they lived upon.

He also said, “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.” It shows that he DEEPLY questioned God to the point of being a “brute beast”. But he eventually came to the place where he realized, “Whom have I in heaven but you?” He goes on to acknowledge what God did for him. And then he said, “Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you” (notice he doesn’t say that this will be done in his timetable — God does things in HIS timetable, not ours). He goes on to say, “But as for me, it was good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.” I pray you will get to that place soon.

Donni, I’m so very sorry that you are experiencing this level of pain and betrayal. This is so grievous, that you have to experience this! I also sense that it grieves God’s heart to see you go through this, just as it grieved His heart to see His Son, and the disciples, and others who have been faithful to Him go through such extreme trials. But for some reason beyond our understanding, “for such a time as this” (just as Joseph experienced trials) God is allowing things to go this way, for a season. But I believe with my whole heart that God, just as He did with the others I mentioned here, will someday bring victory out of the ashes of your present and past experiences.

I hope that you will look for healthy ways to heal and look for healthy people to be your family. Sometimes those who are related to us physically must be replaced by those in the family of God, when the situation warrants it! And this is that type of situation. Use this time to work on healing your heart. In doing so, you will eventually be in a place where God can use you in the most wonderful ways eventually.

That is what He has done with me. I can’t tell you what has gone on in my background for personal reasons. But I can tell you that I went through some very, very dark times. But by God’s grace, He helped me to reach out for healing and help (which took many years) and as a result, I am whole enough to be used by God to help others through this ministry. I can’t thank Him enough for this! I know that God has a plan for you that would AMAZE you as well, if you knew what it was. I know this deep in my heart, and I claim it for you and hope you will grab onto it.

I encourage you to keep looking to the Lord for the help you need. Pray for your family that is in such denial. And pray for the innocent who need your prayers of protection.

Don’t allow those who hurt you to have the victory of seeing you hurt (or kill) yourself. Don’t give yourself over to the enemy’s hand. God is near. Keep trusting, and pursue the healing and help that you need right now.

Please know that I will pray for you, as well as many others who visit the Marriage Missions web site. Blessings in Him, Cindy