What happens to the titanic number of sexually abused men and women when they marry and enter regular sexual experiences with their mates? One study published in Contemporary Family Therapy estimates that 56 percent of women who were sexually abused as children feel discomfort during sex and 36 percent seek some sort of sexual therapy.

Although I told my husband, Patrick, about the abuse while we were dating, after we were married, I pretended immunity from my past trauma. But keeping up the charade wasn’t so easy, since sex reminded me of the abuse. I didn’t tell Patrick, though, because I felt guilty, as though I were a poor wife.

I hoped somehow I could work out everything through sheer willpower. So throughout our early married life, I tolerated sex, never letting Patrick know how much I was hurting. I’m not sure if I even knew the extent of my pain, at least enough to verbalize it.

When our eldest daughter turned five, however, I began to relive the molestation I’d experienced at her age. I felt the horror afresh. I saw those brothers steal my innocence on muddied nature trails, in secluded playgrounds, and in their bedroom…

The above is an excerpt from an article titled, Opening the Door to Healing… When Childhood Sexual Abuse Affects Marriage Intimacy, written by Mary DeMuth, featured in the Fall 2005 issue of Marriage Partnership Magazine www.marriagepartnership.com.

This article not only tells how the past affected Mary’s marriage —especially sexually, but it also gives “Coping Strategies,” plus Mary’s husband Patrick tells his story in all of this. You’re also given the opportunity to discuss this article on the Marriage Partnership’s “Help and Healing” Message Board.

To read the article in its entirety we’ll send you to their web site article.

To do so:

CLICK HERE

— ALSO —

Below is a web site link to a “Question and Answer” article on this subject of past sexual abuse that you may also find to be helpful. Please click onto the link below to read:

• HOW CAN I GET ON WITH LIFE DESPITE PAST ABUSE?

— ALSO —

Below is a web site link to an article written by Pastor Roger Barrier that deals with this same issue. Please click onto the link below to read:

• HOW DO I COPE IF I’VE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED?

If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.