PaChishona if someone is living at a boyfriend’s relative it’s like eloping and the boyfriend is gradually expected to accept her as his wife. You may not see it now but this woman may stay in his life as his “wife” even though they are not legally married. If she is pregnant or has a child by him, she will stay in the picture for good and that will give you a lot of headaches.

I think you have to be honest with your boyfriend right now. I know things can be very romantic before marriage with him apologizing and making promises he can’t keep. If the other girl is not pregnant or has a child, he has to make a choice now and let her go back to her family before your marriage.

Believe me, he may not be living with her but the fact that she is staying with his uncle, makes her a perfect member of the family. According to the extended family, you are the intruder because the rest of the family knows and accepts this girl in their houses. Ask your boyfriend, on what basis? So if you are to marry, she has to be completely out of the picture. Otherwise, you will be marrying somebody’s husband.

Other things to think about:
1. How long is this “weakness” of his going to continue?
2. Consider how important sexual purity is in Christian culture and the importance some men put on the virginity of their brides. So what kind of man sleeps with a girl and just leaves her because she was a “mistake” and doesn’t care what happens to her afterwards? Especially in a culture where having sex before marriage is more disadvantageous to girls.
3.Think about all the rejection this other girl is facing from both her parents and this supposedly “loving” boyfriend.
4. Maybe you need more time to really discover other things you may not know

To sum up everything, no other thing is as powerful as prayer. Please dedicate yourself to prayer and God’s word and the real truth behind this whole picture will come out before you make any big decisions. Trust God everything you do.

Unfortunately, the parents of this girl banished their daughter. In my culture if your parents find out that you are sleeping with a man they can send you to him as his wife. He does not want her as his wife. She is currently staying at his uncle’s house.

I don’t know what to do. If I enter into marriage I want to do it without all this baggage. But some people are telling me this is the testing of the strength of our relationship. On the other hand, maybe this is the end of my relationship. I don’t know. Please help.

We have never had sex and we do not even wish to have sex. We both cry for each other like kids. We share all our feelings with each other… Please tell us what we need to do friend’s?

We have known each other since the last 5 years. She is in her family and I’m with my family. We will hold each other hands till the end of our life. What are we to do? Avi