I can call him and he won’t answer or even text him and no answer. I have asked him to come home on several occasions and he says I got what I wanted. I really didn’t want this but this was my way of trying to get him to come around. I was hurt so I felt that if I hurt him he would start doing things with us as a family.

What I can’t understand is why he won’t go to spiritual counseling with me. I love him and want my marriage to work. I have asked God for his forgiveness and also my husband but he seems not to want to do that either. I forgive him for all that he has done or is doing. I just want to start all over but with Christ with us. Does any one have any suggestions?

Besides prayer, how do we get over this?

The first is that because of personal loss my wife has experienced in the past four years, it really has seemed that our connection as husband and wife has been stretched… apart. It also has had pulls from the birth of our daughter nearly eight years ago. The toughest area of connection seems to be in the area of communication and that in its fullness and healthiness… and yes in the area of love, making it would seem that we’re more "business partners" than the two that God would purpose to become one according to His Word.

That said, the second point that comes to mind, and I must confess my insecurity in part, is that not only do hurt people hurt people, but tonight, Christmas day, I seem to be revelated that yes, I am hurt and in part I would tend to hurt others if only by my sensitive temper.

I have determined to find a brother or two that God will lead me to, and pray about this. I cannot find a reason while I stand before Him to toss in the towel of my marriage no matter how much it hurts. On the other hand I’m continuously reminded that He alone wishes to heal and mend what He has joined together nearly fifteen years ago.

Thank you for listening to my comment. Again I’m going to praise Him because I’m going to consider this a revelation… an insight into growing forward and not let this continue for another minute or shrink me back.

God Bless you and feel free to respond… thank you… Tim

I was hurt by my wife who instead of helping me through the pain, became continuously arrogant. As a result I developed depression. To get healed I resigned from work in order to change my environment and be far from her. Because of this I was able to forgive her and got healed from the heart problems that had developed.

We are now back together and I no longer feel hurt by her past, though she does not admit that she hurt me. This was a very expensive healing process.

There are times its too much to bear. The pain in my heart is too much. This situation is also affecting me physically. We have had many different counselors. Things would get better for a short while, then it’s back to normal.

Everything you mentioned in your article is what I am being put through. I try to make sense of the different situations that would occur. I question myself so many times but somehow it’s unbelievable as to what people are capable of. I really am trying to console myself with GOD’s word which is what keeps be going mostly. There are times when I wish to live no longer because of the pain I am being subject to.

I know that this is not how GOD intended for me to live. I wish I could reach my husband and help him out of his torture and then I could have a better life. I am in my late thirties and my husband is his late forties. I have two girls, 18 and fourteen years of age and they live with us. I am from the Caribbean. I’ve lived here in the USA for the past two years.

Looking at this situation, it looks hopeless. All I can do is continue to trust GOD and do my best to believe that someday everything will get better. My concern is for my sanity and the effects this will have on my children. I am at the stage where I do not know how to have fun or to be happy. Sometimes I would ask GOD why has he forsaken and abandoned me.

Thank you – I will continue to read this for my emotional health.

Like Deb from USA, this is very good information. I have been dragging my past along with me in my marriage. My ex hurt me terribly and each time I have a difference with my husband I would explode and compare him to my ex. I believe I need to practice forgiveness on my past hurts and move on with my new found love.

I know it cant just happen overnight, but I will pray about it.