Comments on: “Why Should I’s” Can Kill Marriages – Marriage Message #62

By: Leobah

Leobah — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:08:44 +0000

(ZIMBABWE) Thank you so much for this week message; it helped me to know why should I. I would like to say my marriage was going through a hard time and this time around it was shaken. I am supposed to wed in Dec but we had a big fight not based on the wedding, but he thinks I am not looking after his child enough and yet I don’t even stay with her. She stays with the mum most of the time. I hardly have her at my house.

So he beat me saying that I was raising my voice to him yet I thought I was just justifying myself and he was being biased on this whole issue. I have been married for three years, but I think the biggest challenge in my marriage is he thinks I am not looking after his daughter well and I think I am doing my best so I don’t know what to do on this. Help me. Leobah

By: K

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:24:22 +0000

(Fiji) Thank you so much for the great message. This message really answers my questions “Why should I” and “If only”. I’ve been asking these questions for so many years, and the Lord revealed answers to me today. Thanks a lot.

By: A.

A. — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:33:57 +0000

(South Africa) This marriage message has touched me more. It hurts a lot to see Christian marriages dissolving. It is true a lot of people are hurting and the ones that try to heal, their marriages end up being attacked. One thing we need to realise is that the moment one becomes a Christian he/she is entering into the war field which unfortunately has bullets being fired from all directions.

Marriage is not an easy walk just like being a Christian is not an easy walk. My husband and I have had our fair share of ups and downs and we are both believers. We fellowship in a local Church, we pray together and other times we don’t especially when we don’t see eye to eye. But we put our differences behind and pray with the children, which in turn helps us because the children sometimes sense the tension and they’ll pray saying “Thank you Lord for my mom and dad, I ask you to keep them together”.

Prayer and a relationship with God is the only true way. But we can get selfish as human beings sometimes. That is when we need the Lord. I do not have a solution to all the challenges marriages face, but one thing for sure, dying to self and letting God be the true provider and leader of the marriage helps.

I pray that we all will continue praying for marriages between men and women for they are under attack. I can confess that being married is a challenge but with the Lord it is a breeze.

God has been holding our marriage from all corners. There were times where we thought maybe we should divorce but neither of us was strong enough to be the first to file for divorce. We look back today we realise how God had his hand on our marriage for if it wasn’t for the Lord we’d have divorced the very 1st year.

I guess not having any family members around also helped a lot cause we both knew we could rely on no one but God and each other cause at the end of the day we both had no parents or siblings to run to. We still have our challenges but we face them differently now. Spending more time in the Lord’s presence also helps us a lot.

By: Cindy Wright

Cindy Wright — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:22:07 +0000

(USA) Chrissy, I sense your broken heart, and for that, as your sister-in-Christ, I cry with you and pray for you. As for your question, I believe that no one can really answer that, except for God. I urge you to go to the Bible and do a prayerful search for what God tells you. And don’t make it a quick search for what you want to “hear” and then go do it. Pray and labor in prayer and petition and ask God to either change your circumstances and help you to see how you are to participate in this change, or change your heart and outlook.

I’ve had God do both at various times. As you look to Him, He will either lift your circumstances or He will lift your spirits. It may take a while (and sometimes a LONG while) but it will happen. But please don’t give up. Pray out the song of Psalm 42 during those long, hard times. Whether God changes your circumstances or your heart, you are in the center of God’s will, rather than man’s. May God bless you in this journey!

By: Chrissy

Chrissy — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:49:38 +0000

(SOUTH AFRICA) How do you get rid of despondency? When does one stop with forgiving? Is it wrong to say “I call it quits” when one feels like one is being constantly given the short end of the stick?

By: Mbuso

Mbuso — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 07:28:06 +0000

(SOUTH AFRICA) It is important to spend at 80% of time in a love relationship happy and fullfilled than spending 20% happy and 80% unhappy. Therefore let us do all we can to enjoy our love relationships, whether in marriage or courtship.