Cindy and I (Steve) believe that humor (being able to laugh at ourselves and situations) is as important in marriage as it is to be able to resolve conflict. So, with that in mind, we ask this question:

MEN: Have you had it happen to you—where you’re searching for something, you then ask your wife where it is and she walks over to the cupboard you’ve been staring at for 10 minutes and finds it for you right where you said it wasn’t? YOU didn’t see it there and yet she did! How do they do that?

How do women physically see what we don’t? Well, the following is something written (that we’ve edited) by a fellow man, Gregg Lewis, on this very subject (from an unknown source) titled, “Why Women Always Win at Lost and Found.” He writes:

For the longest time I figured it must be women’s intuition. I just never understood how it is that an able-bodied, fully sighted man can venture into a tiny closet and never find the article of clothing he’s searching for. And how is it, when he finally admits defeat and calls out, “Honey, do you know where my sweater is?”, that his wife can walk in, glance around, shove aside a few things and reveal his sweater, hanging boldly in front of him.

How do women do that? None of the marriage books I’ve read give a man a clue. Seventeen years of first-hand experience haven’t solved the mystery either. But it happened to me again yesterday. I was helping prepare supper when Debbie asked me to get a can of pineapple from the pantry. I looked high and low-twice—before saying, “I think we’re out of pineapple.” “No,” she insisted. “I’m sure I’ve seen at least one can in there. Check the very back of the third shelf.”

I began to systematically shift and scrutinize every can, canister, and cereal box. “No pineapple!” I finally answered with certainty. “I’m sure it’s there,” Debbie said as she walked over to look for herself. I stood right behind her, looking over her shoulder, planning to enjoy the satisfaction (just once) of saying, “See? What did I tell you?”

She reached in, shoved a bottle of syrup over, pushed aside a jar of salsa, and there at the back of the shelf was a can of pineapple. I muttered an embarrassed, “Oh.” Debbie, to her credit, said not a word. But silently I asked myself once again, “How do women do that?”

I used to think it was a motherhood survival technique. But Debbie did it even before she became a mother. And it isn’t just Debbie either. My mom has humiliated my dad the same way for nearly 50 years. And at least once every time I go home for a visit, Mom does it to me.

How can a woman, who has to think twice to remember the points of the compass when she’s standing in her own backyard, know exactly where and in what closet of the house I tossed my baseball glove after the final game last summer?

Call me paranoid if you want, but lately I’ve taken to wondering if it’s all a plot, if mothers don’t roust their daughters from bed in the middle of the night for “search-and-find” training. But I hate to believe anything that devious of the women I love. I’d prefer to think it’s just another example of the balance God designed into the universe. Human beings take in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide; plants take in carbon dioxide and give off oxygen. Men lose things; and women find things. But that doesn’t answer the how question.

This brings me to a very telling incident that occurred just last night. I noticed our dog had lost his chain collar. “Debbie, did you take off Caspian’s choker?” I asked. “No, I thought you did.” “Have you seen it?” I inquired. When she said she hadn’t, I began my search. I checked by the back door where we keep the leash. I walked all over the house, wherever I thought the dog had been.

The boys were watching TV, so I asked, “Have you guys seen the dog’s collar?” “Nope.” “Uh-uh.” “Ask Lisette, maybe she knows.”

I found my 7-year-old daughter outside, riding her bike on the street in front of the house. “Sweetheart,” I called, “do you know where Caspian’s choker is?” “It’s in the living room,” she replied innocently. “It’s not in the living room!” I declared. “I’ve looked there!” She shrugged, “I saw it in the living room last.” “Then show me where you saw it,” I ordered.

She climbed off her bike, and I followed her through the house to the living room. She walked to one of her slippers that lay in the middle of the floor, picked it up, plunged her hand down into the toe, pulled out the missing choker, and gave me her most charming smile. “Here it is, right here!”

My immediate reaction was to shake my head thinking once more to myself, “How do women do that?” But I was so glad to find the lost choker; I didn’t seriously ponder the question at the time.

It wasn’t until I woke up this morning— then the truth hit me. Lisette knew right where to find that choker because she was the one who had hidden it there! That’s it! That’s the answer!

How do women always know just where to find whatever things we men are looking for? They’re the ones who hide them! So when we get frustrated enough to give up or ask for help, our wives (or mothers or daughters) always know right where to “discover” them for us.

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Of course, it isn’t true that women hide things on their husbands so they look like they can “miraculously” find them-but it sure may appear to be the case! So what’s the point? What’s the benefit of reading this marriage message?

Number 1: Laughter is a good medicine (as the Bible tells us). And we hope we made you laugh a little. It was good for you! Sometimes we take life too seriously. We need to look for humor even in frustrating situations. It’s in there if we look hard enough.

Number 2: We need each other. Men and women seem to be created to interdependently need each other in many different ways. One has strengths in one way in which the other could use them and visa versa. And God wants us to use those strengths to help each other and work together to accomplish more just as a hand and foot have different strengths which benefit the body as a whole. (See: 1 Corinthians 12.)

So rather than getting frustrated with each other when a situation comes up where one of us needs the other, this is the opportunity to extend grace, just like the kind that God extends to us each and every day. Let’s work together in cooperation so that our marriage works at it’s best—helping each other and showing everyone around us—including ourselves, the grace and beauty of a marriage that works together to the glory of God.

Have a blessed week!
Steve and Cindy Wright