“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

One of the sad things I (Cindy) see in marriages is that after the wedding and honeymoon period, love can begin to be clouded over by the everyday distractions of life. These distractions can eventually pull us away from each other and work against the love we once felt for one another. Because of this, we need to make more of a conscientious effort everyday to show love to our spouse in big and small ways.

Some friends of ours told us that they try to find ways to “out serve” each other— to “consider the other as more important” than themselves as the scriptures tell us (Philippians 2:3-4). I’ve tried this and find it can actually be fun to go out of my way to do things for Steve that he might not expect “just because” I love him.

I believe we need to be more spontaneous in performing more acts of love within our marriages to keep the romance alive. Whether our spouse acknowledges these acts of love or not, isn’t the point. It’s an additional way of loving our spouse “as unto the Lord.” Ask the Lord to show you how to communicate love to your spouse with and without words. Consider these acts of love as “care packages for the heart.”

I (Steve) have to admit it was sometimes very difficult to know how to love Cindy the way she wanted and needed it. Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages revolutionized my approach. Cindy’s main “Love Language” is Acts of Service —meaning “doing things you know your spouse would like you to do.”

This can include cooking a meal for Cindy, vacuuming, or washing the dishes, to name just a few. One of the most direct routes to Cindy’s heart is when I take her car and fill it with gas and wash it (without being asked).

Men, all it takes is a little effort and creativity to be able to show our wives we love them. If you’re where I was and you want a little help to get out of a rut, we have a document posted on our web site in the “Romantic Ideas” section titled “100 Ways to Love Your Wife Her Way.” You’ll also find something in there titled, “Romantic Tips” that you might find helpful.

So, the next time someone asks how many ways can you love your wife? You’ll be able to say, “Well, there’s at least 100 ways that I know of.”

Questions of the week: What “care packages for the heart” would you appreciate receiving from your spouse? What have you given to your spouse that shows special love and devotion?

In Christ’s Service Together,
Steve and Cindy Wright

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