Those many, many differences that you start to see in your spouse after you marry, can be extremely frustrating! How could he or she be so different than you thought before the wedding?
Are those differences good, bad, or just different? And how do you bridge those differences so that it doesn’t cause a permanent problem in your relationship?
After-all, being married is all about partnership and being a marital team.
So, how do you bridge that gap? Below is a link to an article that addresses that issue. It doesn’t give an answer to every difference, but it gives you another way of seeing and dealing with them that might help in some way.
So, to read what Robert and Jeannette Lauer have to say about this dilemma, click onto the link below:
It’s important to realize that everyone approach life from different angles for many different reasons. Many of them come about because of different expectations we’ve held onto deep inside. Many of them we didn’t even realize we had until they are challenged in some way.
It could be productive to bring some of those expectations to the surface to examine and find ways to make them work out within the life you are building together. To help you to do that, we are providing a link so you can read an article on this subject which is posted on another web site. To read this article, please click onto the link below:
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2 comments so far ↓
1 Joan // Aug 27, 2008 at 11:10 am
(UNITED STATES) Hi there, Any advice or articles available that may help me?
I married my first love who has children from a previous relationship which he has custody of, and they have lived with us everyday since we’ve been married (3 years). There is not much help from my step kid’s natural Mom. I did not live with my husband before we were married. I went right from my parents home to our home and was instantly a wife and Mom.
After 3 years and a bunch of confused feelings/resentment/jealousy/anger/guilt/damaged self-esteem/physical abuse and feelings of being worthless, I’m almost ready for divorce. I’m hesitant because we also have a year old baby together whom he is really attached to, as well as the other 2 kids. Any help?
2 Joy // Sep 25, 2008 at 12:59 am
(UGANDA) I feel with Joan for the situation she in. Naturally when we fall in love, we disregard some factors standing in the way of our marriage. In Joan’s case, she knew this man had children and definitely, they occupied a place in this man’s heart.
Reality catches us up when we are already in the marriage and the best we have to do is talk about what causes discomfort and together find a solution. Joan has not told us what actually brings confused feelings /resentment /jealousy /anger /guilt/damaged self-esteem /physical abuse and feelings of being worthless. Is it the kids, their mother or her husband?
If it is the kids mother, then Joan has to trash it and concentrate on building up her marriage. The fact that by the time she married the husband this lady was out of picture, she should not even think to spoil a marriage she has no stake in. If it is the husband causing her terrible feelings, Joan needs to get him in a good mood and cause a discussion to address what she is going through. If it the kids, I have a feelings that since they are still young, they can be transformed and she needs to determine to help them change.
Finally, let Joan look inside herself and do a self examination test to see where she has contributed to the situation she in and address it. In most cases transformation begins with us. If she is almost ready for divorce, that is not a solution, because she may feel more bad after the divorce, and it may be worse for the baby. In Christian marriages, we are encouraged to practice patience, forgiveness, and faithfulness. I encourage her to hang on and pray for a positive change in her marriage. I encourage her to open up with her husband and the issues objectively.
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