It’s amazing how complicated communicating with each other can become! Couples, who used to talk for hours at a time with each other before marrying eventually find themselves mis-communicating more than communicating after they’ve been married for a while.

Rather than talking WITH each other, they resort to talking AT each other—spitting out facts rather than connecting in their relationship. Have you found yourself in that place with your husband? Join the crowd!

And then when you realize the disconnection going on between you and your husband and you try to dialogue with him —nothing!  Something you say or infer flies right over his head, or it obviously doesn’t hold the same meaning for him as it does for you because of his reaction (or lack there-of).  And then things become even more complicated in your relationship!

Does that mean that men are dense when it comes to communication? No. It may be YOUR communication isn’t always clear to them, but it doesn’t mean ALL communication comes out that way. And it doesn’t mean that you can’t find ways to bridge those misunderstandings. It just demonstrates the need to learn more about each other’s style of communicating and listening in order to better connect in your relationship.

When one man read one of the articles we’re going to refer you to read, he took it as if the author were saying that men were less intelligent and less capable of communicating —which isn’t the point at all! And it’s simply not true. It just means that we speak and perceive things differently from each other. And different isn’t bad or less intelligent —it’s just different!

The same is true in the reverse. Men can talk to us (or not talk to us) and we attach different meanings to what they’re trying to communicate.

Why is it that we seem to be on the same “page” sometimes (especially before marriage) and end up on different planets at other times? That’s really unclear.

Part of the reason could be that sometimes you’re able to do things for a “season” but you can’t maintain it over the long haul —you resort back to your original strength eventually. Does that mean that a person can never change from their original “strength?” No. We can all grow.

But sometimes it takes intentionality and sometimes we may never grow much beyond a certain point and we need the help of our partner to go the rest of the distance. But together as a team —giving each other grace and space, it’s amazing what can be accomplished. As the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10,

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend (or spouse) can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

So, how do we “de-code” this mysterious difference in our communication styles? We discovered two articles on different web sites that we believe will help. They won’t give you all the answers —only God Himself knows that! But it’s a good start.

Please Note: The first article we will refer you to, appears on the web site for a secular magazine. Although it isn’t written specifically for the Christian audience, it contains good information. As with any human resource, just glean whatever you feel will apply to your situation, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Keep in mind that:

“There could be a very good reason why your husband doesn’t hear what you’re saying. There’s new medical research which reveals why this could be, and what to do about it.”

To read more, please click to:

• HOW TO TALK TO A MAN

— ALSO —

For 7 tips on how to get your spouse to open up,
please click onto the web site link for Marriage Partnership Magazine to read:

• CAN WE TALK?

— ALSO —

From the ministry of Love and Respect.com with Emerson Eggerichs:

• THE SECRET TO MOTIVATING A HUSBAND

The above article was composed by Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International.

If you have additional tips you can share to help others on this issue, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.