-By Cindy Wright

“You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” (Titus 2:1-8)

There are many different ways a church could approach marriage mentoring. Below are some of the many ideas that could be facilitated:

• Have a Facilitating Married Couple that will oversee the Marriage Mentoring Ministry. A married couple may work best in this ministry position so both the men and women involved feel they have someone of their own gender to help them with issues that arise.

• Marriage Mentoring can be done in group form (large or small), or one-on-one, or as Accountability groups — like a “Promise Keepers Group” that meets periodically to help one another.

• You could also have long term or short term meeting groups that meet once a week or once a month or once a quarter indefinitely, or for a year, or for whatever time limit you want to set for it.

• Have Sunday School, Adult Education and/or Wednesday Evening Marriage classes on various subjects that will be helpful to those who are married or engaged. (They can be short term or long term or continual.)

• Always keep in mind, there are different ways of mentoring. Mentoring is a way of life. Keep your eyes open to how God wants to use you to mentor (encourage) others whether in large groups, small groups, one-on-one. Pray and then watch for “Divine marriage mentoring appointments”, (both planned and unplanned) that God brings your way to encourage others. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another. and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24)

• Occasionally, when appropriate, invite engaged couples to a married couple’s group so they can experience “the other side” of engagement.

• Encourage Mentoring couples to build a Mentoring Lending Library at home (if possible) to lend resources out to couples to use for further “study” of a marriage subject.

• Share ideas by E-mail (or postal mail) with other mentors throughout the U.S. so more than your church can benefit from your ideas.

• Subscribe to one or more Marriage magazines for personal growth and for possible material to discuss with your mentoring group.

• Start a Marriage Mentoring web site at your church that you change periodically.

• Build up a good marriage-mentoring library at your church.

• Have someone in your church create Viewing and/or Listening guides for the marriage cassettes and videos in your church library and for marriage mentoring leaders so they can use them in their “small group.”

• Use marriage tapes, videos, study books, magazine articles, etc . to use in your mentoring groups. You don’t have to be a teacher to host a mentoring group.you just need to be a willing facilitator led by God. Then watch what He can do in and through your group.

• Have a Marriage Mentoring “tip” or quote in your bulletin and/or Newsletter each week. You could also have a half page insert in your bulletin during different times of the year that gives additional information to married couples.or have an e-mail list that couples could sign up to receive a “marriage tip of the week” each week.

• Host a Marriage Event in your church once a quarter and invite all the couples to. Hopefully because of this event you’ll reach out to some “new” couples that may want to get involved in a mentoring group as a result of attending. It can be a social and educational event. i.e. a potluck dinner with a special speaker who will speak on a subject that will be of benefit to all who attend. This could occasionally, even be a “For Women Only” event and a “For Men Only” event, which would address marriage subjects relating to their particular needs and interests.

• Encourage couples to attend at least one marriage retreat a year (or go away for a weekend just the two of them) to take the time to focus on their growth as a couple. (Your church could even host a Marriage Weekend).

• Develop a Companion Ministry for Married Women and one for Married Men that would meet periodically to address subjects that would be helpful to their gender.