“Two thousand years ago, in the midst of a marriage, Jesus met an impossible need with His supernatural intervention. Today, the scene is set again with you and the one you have promised your life to. The couple, the need—the miracle.” (Ron Hutchcraft)
Being in marriage ministry, Cindy and I find it very interesting that Jesus chose to perform His first miracle at a wedding—He revealed His glory in a marriage. If you’re not familiar with this story, go to the Gospel of John, chapter two and read verses 1-11.
We wanted to write about Marriage Miracles this week (even though we used some of this information previously) because we’ve received so many emails from couples who have expressed great needs in their marriages. We’ve also been blessed this week to receive hundreds of requests to receive this weekly Marriage Message from various countries in Africa.
God has given us a special love for Africans because our son, David and his wife, Kristina, spend so much time in Kenya (He’s an Archaeologist). When we were there 3 years ago we met so many wonderful Believers and our hearts were drawn to be able to minister there. This week God opened the door even wider for us to be able to work with Him to bring healing and hope and to “Put the Heart of Christ Back into Marriage” on the African continent. We Praise Him for this opportunity to serve!
We believe that in all of our marriages there are times we need a miraculous touch from God. I (Steve) can tell you from personal experience that had we not “invited Christ” into our marriage back in 1974 there would be no Marriage Missions ministry today—at least not with Steve and Cindy Wright. And, in all likelihood, Cindy and I would have become just another sad divorce statistic. We’ve also come to realize that even today, 30 years later, we still need Jesus’ intervention in our marriage if it’s going to remain strong.
In his book, Start Your Trip With A Full Tank, Ron Hutchcraft (which is no longer in print) talks about “Marriage Miracles” and we thought his words would be an encouragement for all of us:
Maybe your marriage could use a miracle right now. That day in Cana there was a change that no man or woman could make. Nobody can change water into wine, but Jesus did. Maybe right now some change is urgently needed in your home. There is a need that must be met if your relationship is going to be what it needs to be.
Maybe it is time for Cana revisited—a marriage miracle. Right now there’s strain, distance, resentment, and frustration. Maybe there are thoughts of bitterness, and giving up.
Have you been to your knees yet? Have you prayed—pouring out your mess, your pain, and your dark feelings to the Lord—crying out together for Jesus healing in your marriage? The less you feel like doing it, the more you need to. And if your partner absolutely will not, don’t let that stop you.
This passage in John 2, says Jesus had been invited to this wedding, to this marriage. If you’ve not do so before, why not invite Him into your marriage? Close the door on leaving or quitting. Ask God to show you the hope factors you can build on. You have looked at the hopeless factors long enough. Can you pray this? “Lord, we can’t make it work, and I/we don’t know how You would, but we beg You to do what we can’t in this marriage.”
We’d also like to add some comments relating to this from Fred and Florence Littauer in their book, Daily Marriage Builders For Couples (Word Publishing). These thoughts come from the chapter, Curing Marriage Problems— Believe That God Can Help You:
Is there any hope? Is there any possibility that change can be affected in our lives and in a way we treat one another? Can you change the way you react to your mate when something unkind or cutting is said to you?
Somehow on our own we are not able to control our own reactions to what we perceive to be hurtful negatives. Ah, but the Bible tells me I can do all things! Yes, we can do all things, but we must complete the verse: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
There lies the answer. All my own resolutions will probably go for naught, but when I enlist the Lord Jesus to help me, to do what I cannot do on my own, amazing and rewarding changes can take place. We must not, however, forget the first part of that verse. It still says, “I can do all things.” We are not directed to let Christ do it for us. We must do it ourselves BUT with Him—with His help.”
Oswald Chambers wrote:
“We cannot do what God does and… God will not do what we can do. We cannot save ourselves nor sanctify ourselves, God does that; but God will not give us good habits, He will not give us character, He will not make us walk aright. We have to get into the habit of hearkening to God about everything, to form the habit of finding out what God says. If when a crisis comes, we instinctively turn to God, we know that the habit has been formed.”
If this weeks message has spoken to you about a problem or issue in your marriage, then this closing prayer from the Littauer’s book may provide comfort and hope for you as well:
“Lord. I ask you to strengthen my faith. Help me, O Lord, to believe. Help me to trust You more with each passing day. Help me, O Lord, I pray, to come to you with every need that is in my heart. Help me to remember to bring every hurt and issue to You before my tongue reacts to the feelings that are going on inside of me.
Lord Jesus, give me self-control until all the pains and struggles are washed away. Lord, I don’t want to rely any longer solely on my own abilities. I want to learn to rely on You. I want to become so Christ-centered that being and serving as You would serve will come naturally to me. I will try, Lord. I will do all that I am able, but I am grateful to You that I do not have to do it alone. Thank You, my Lord and my God. In Your Name I pray. Amen.”
We want you to know it’s a blessing for Cindy and me to be able to serve you and your marriage. We pray that God will strengthen you this week and perform the miracle you need in your own relationship.
Steve and Cindy Wright
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(INDIA) PLEASE PRAY 4 MY MARRIAGE RESTORATION.
(INDIA) Dear, Please pray for our marriage restoration as we are really going thru tough times. I’m not in a position explain the reasons. I believe Jesus alone can restore my marriage right from finances, to every single issue in which we have an issue. Ours was a love marriage; I don’t know what’s happening in our marriage. I feel everything seems to be going wrong. Please pray for us.
My husband’s name is Daniel, I’m Annie. His own mum is waiting for this relation to break. I don’t know why my husband has completely turned against me, holding a negative mindset on me. I failed every battle that I tried to restore in this marriage.
(RSA) Please help me with your prayers. The Lord showed me several times a sister in church to marry. And then a man of God confirmed this in front of our pastor and the sister as well. However, I have always been suspecting that the Lord might have visited her before He came to me. But now one time when I was trying to approach her, she was too vindictive. I could not even tell her what I wanted to tell her…and more.
I want to be in this relationship/marriage with this sister, because the Lord has told me so many things about our life together. The Lord has shown me our future together. Please pray for me to have courage and for our reconciliation. Does it happen that God speaks to one person about a potential relationship, and not mention that to the other partner?
(USA) I was definitely blessed by this message on marriage miracles. I have been in desperate need of a miracle in my marriage. There is no support for me in my current situation of being separated, but I am still standing on the word of God in my marriage. So I am always looking for words and inspiration to encourage me. I don’t doubt that God is capable of working a miracle in my marriage so I enjoy seeing His hand work for others. I know my blessing is right around the corner.
(USA) I love this web site. Thank you Lord for miracles for marriage. I need a miracle so much. I accepted Christ many years ago and my husband didn’t and we became separated spiritually. I received the new birth and he did not. I have been married for 29 years and have prayed for him.
The last few years have been full of warfare and NOW it seems things are not going well. I love my husband, Chris, and call forth his Salvation. He is a King Priest and he has the New Adam birth for him. Lord please don’t let divorce happen..for my children’s sake and the sake of your blood covenant. Lead us to Reconciliation…Lord You want us to be Victorious with you. I need you to send my husband home to me. Cancel this divorce and Cancel this debt and make us marriage missionaries too.
Your covenant is mighty. We need you Jesus. Chris needs you. He needs to know your unconditional Love for him. He needs to know you are so wonderful. Please stand with me those out there on this web for miracles. God Bless all Marriages today. Lord we honor your son and your blood covenant. Marriage is honorable. It is Holy and right. Lord don’t let Mel Gibson divorce…Lord send the marriage missionaries to him. Send your protection. Your blood and Passion over Mel’s marriage. Holy spirit come hover over man and women…Adam and Eve restored. The Eden is now. Your Eden Lord over us. Amen
(GAUTENG) I am a jung wife and my husband left me for someone else. I need God’s help. I have thought about killing myself. I need someone to help me cope with all this feelings. God, I come to you and I’m asking you to hold my hand. I can’t stop my tears and I need a friend to talk to. Please God, I’m begging you… pick me up; help me and my husband. I want him back.
(USA) Dear Tanita, How my heart goes out to you over the way you are suffering! I’m so very sorry that your husband isn’t at this point, repenting over his infidelity and begging you for forgiveness. What a horrible injustice and a hurtful way to live!
There is hardly a person alive who could read your comment who wouldn’t absolutely understand why the depth of your pain is so deep. To be betrayed by someone you pledged your life and your all to, is SO VERY painful. It’s probably the worst kind of pain there is. And God understands this all too well. He has been betrayed by His bride the church over and over again… and yet He still loves and reaches out to us. It’s amazing love! I pray you will fall into His arms and will share your pain with Him in every way it is possible. He understands and He cares.
Yet even though God understands, He won’t MAKE your husband do what is right. He may talk to his heart and work in ways you and I may not see, but He will still give your husband the freedom to make even wrong choices (but He will make him pay eventually for all the wrong he is doing, at the proper time — not our timing, but God’s). God gives us all that freedom… even those who don’t deserve it. I pray you will trust Him to work in and through you and this situation using His wisdom — letting God be God.
As a sister in Christ to you, I want to tell you that I can well understand your temptation to kill yourself. I would probably entertain the same thoughts… and I have… over other circumstances. But Tanita, all you are doing is giving the enemy of our faith a major victory over this. No matter what the circumstances, God can redeem that which the enemy comes to steal and destroy. I pray you understand this. Your thoughts are to get relief from the pain and probably to “make your husband pay” for the harm he has done. But in reality, if your husband could justify doing this to you, his heart is hardened and he would find a way to justify your death as not being his fault. That’s the sick way the enemy works within.
Please, please, please know that killing yourself will hurt more than it would help. You may find relief from your immediate pain, but you will destroy a life that Christ came to save… you will horribly hurt others around you (especially family, if you have any) and you will hurt the testimony of God that He can save to the uttermost. God may want to use you in the future to help save the life of others who are entertaining what you are right now. Please don’t give into your immediate pain. You are worth too much to allow your life to be wasted like this.
As I said earlier, I entertained killing myself years ago. I came close, as a matter-of-fact. But praise God… I didn’t do it. If I had, most likely Marriage Missions wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have been able to get to the other side of my pain to experience freedom and to participate with God in so many amazing ways. And oh, how I would have hurt my family and God!!!
I encourage you Tanita, to pour your heart out to God. You can use the book of Psalms as a guideline to read and pray through whatever comes to mind. Tears are cleansing… don’t be afraid to allow them to flow and cleanse out the toxins that are poisoning your body and spirit. Eventually the tears will give way to little points of being content in whatever circumstances, and eventually joy will break through. I know it doesn’t seem possible, but I’ve seen it over and over again in my life and in many others I know.
And keep praying for someone who is safe to talk to. God promises to supply our every need, so if this is a need… He will reveal that person to you as you seek His help. Keep in mind though, that He may allow you to walk this journey with Him alone for a while if He sees that as the best way. Trust His heart. He won’t betray you.
Also, go into the “Prayer” section — into the “Links and Resource Description” part and take advantage of the prayer ministries we have listed. One of them is in “Maintenance Mode” right now while it is being worked on… but there is still a link provided that you can use. Knock on every door the Lord opens for you. Be careful to guard your heart though… because your heart is vulnerable to fall for things and the ways of those who may not be good for you, because pain can cloud our reasoning. Go with God and tread carefully. He will guard you as you lean upon Him.
Also, there are a few articles that may be good for you to read. They have helped me and many others I know. Please look in the “Mental and Physical Health” section and start by reading the article, “Living in Confidence Because of Who You Are” (and other corresponding articles we provide links for below this one). Allow God to embrace you with His love. You are not junk to be thrown aside. It is tragic that your husband allowed his eyes to be blinded to this fact… but he is pitiable because of it. Anyone who can treat a person like this is blind and dumb and dead to all God created him to be. Please don’t allow his insensitivity and inhumane ways to destroy who you are. Step beyond him and let God deal with him and reach out to God to help you walk in “newness of life” as the Bible talks about. He has a wonderful plan for your life. But for now… you must get through what is immediately obstructing your path.
I pray you will consider what I have written. I’m sure there are many who will read what you wrote who will be praying for you. You will see that I took your phone number out of your letter. I had to do this because of a policy we have at Marriage Missions… but also to protect you. There are some who could call you who might not have pure motives. You have suffered enough. Trust that God will bring people your way through other means that will help you through this painful journey. God is able to keep you.
The Bible says that He is the “lifter of our head.” I pray He will lift your head to see your value because of Christ, He will lift your heart — to live beyond your pain and the circumstances you are now in, and will give you help and hope… that there WILL come a day when your smile and joy will be restored. I am praying for you. May God bless and keep you Tanita. Because of Christ, Cindy
(S. AFRICA) Dear dear Tanita, I feel your pain and hopelessness. I know just how you are feeling because my husband has also left me for another women and that is after 35 years of marriage. He is presently working on an overseas contract and has cut off any contact with me.
Cindy is right we have to LOOK UP, as hard as it is, and trust God to take control. You may think God has abandoned you (I sure feel it at times) but one thing I DO KNOW is that God loves you. You are his child and he will never leave your side. The pain of your husbands betrayal is SO intense; ask me I know. Please do not even think of killing yourself as it will mean Satan has won. Let God deal with your husband and know that nothing you do has the power to CHANGE HIS HEART. Only God can do that through his Holy Spirit.
I will be thinking of you — know that you will be in my prayers. Please keep in contact through this wonderful website and I will be happy to reply. We can help each other get through this. I need you too.
(USA) Please pray for Ryan and Rita! Our marriage is in need of an overhaul with Jesus as its center! He has filed a divorce and we have mediation coming up! We have 4 children including one that is just a few months old! Only God can restore our marriage and I lay it all in His hands!! Pray that I will do all things in my power as I have struggled with that! Thank you all of you!
(USA) Please pray for my marriage, my husband is Jeremy & I am Rose. He has expressed he wants a divorce because he has fallen out of love with me. He has proceeded with paperwork but has said if there’s any chance of hope, any small glimmer of the love he has lost, he will not go through with it.
I have been praying & doing all I can do & I know that the rest if up to God. I love my husband very much & I know deep down he still loves me but he cannot see it right now. I don’t know what put these thoughts in his head but I ask you to pray for him to change his mind. I’ve asked God to help get rid of these thoughts in his head & heart. When I see our future I see us together not divorced.
Please, please pray that he changes his mind even if it is at the last minute. I have to have faith that things will get better. I’m not asking God to completely make everything go away, just to help my husband see that divorce is not the way & we can make it together & whatever problems come our way we can handle them together.