Are you vulnerable to having an affair? Answer the questions below to find out if your marriage is at risk.

QUIZ: Relationship Vulnerability Map
-By Dr Shirley Glass

There’s no way to predict with certainty whether a specific couple is “affair—proof.” Responding to the statements below will help identify relationship vulnerabilities that make marriages susceptible.

Directions: Write the appropriate number to the left of each statement:

1 = No, disagree completely

2 = Yes, agree somewhat

3 = Yes, agree completely

N/A= Not Applicable

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___ We had problems trusting each other before we got married.

___ Our marriage revolves around our children.

___ For childless couples: We disagree on whether or not to have children.

___ My partner spends too much time away from home.

___ My partner rarely takes my side in anything.

___ We’ve grown apart.

___ I’ve felt alone and unsupported at times of loss or crises.

___ We don’t have equal input for important decisions.

___ We argue about the frequency of sex.

___ Our interactions feel more like a parent-child relationship than between equals.

___ We’re uncomfortable about exposing our inner selves to each other.

___ We sweep things under the rug, so we hardly ever fight.

___ There’s a disparity in how invested we are in the relationship.

___ I feel I can’t influence my partner to do what I request.

___ I don’t know if I really love my partner.

___ We don’t know how to repair after a conflict.

___ We don’t have much in common.

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Scoring Key:

Add up your total number of points to interpret your relationship vulnerability score.

16 - 20 = A safe harbor
21 - 29 = Choppy waters
30 - 39 = Rough seas
40 - 48 = Watch out! You’re headed for the rocks.

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Take another look at those statements that you rated 2 or 3. You and your partner can work on these issues to build a better marriage. Sharing your responses will give you another way to discuss your marital lifeline and the relationship patterns that have been discussed in this chapter.It’s important to realize that your relationship vulnerability score is not a predictor of infidelity. It is an assessment of your marital adjustment. Remember that affairs can and do happen in good relationships. Even a score that indicates high vulnerability does not mean that infidelity is inevitable.

Just as there are happily married people who are unfaithful, there are also many dissatisfied individuals who remain faithful because of individual or cultural factors. The Relationship Vulnerability Map is one component that should be considered along with the Individual Vulnerability Map and the Social Vulnerability Map.

When you are finished with the Vulnerability Maps, be sure to read the Vulnerability Map Summary. You can do this by clicking on the map or summary you’d like to look at. By doing so you will be led to the Shirley Glass web site at www.shirleyglass.com.

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