[This inventory can be used to generate an open discussion with each other on this matter. It might be helpful to each have your own copy to mark before starting your discussion.]
Please place a check next to each of the statements that apply to you.
• In relating to my in-laws:
___ I feel very comfortable in knowing what to call them.
___ I wish I knew what to call them (Mom, Dad, or first name).
• I feel that my spouse is:
___ too close to his/her family.
___ not close enough to his/her family.
___ well-balanced in his/her relationship with his/her family.
• My spouse feels that I am:
___ too close to my family.
___ not close enough to my family.
___ well-balanced in my relationship with my family.
• I wish:
___ I felt more comfortable with my spouse’s family.
___ my spouse felt more comfortable with my family.
• My spouse and I disagree over:
___ how much time to spend with family.
___ whose family to visit for the holidays.
• I sometimes feel pulled between:
___ what my family wants from me and what my spouse wants from me.
___ my loyalty to my own family and my loyalty to my spouse’s family.
• Since our wedding, my relationship with my own family:
___ has changed for the better.
___ has changed for the worse.
• Since our wedding, my relationship with my spouse’s family:
___ has changed for the better.
___ has changed for the worse.
Review the statements you marked and use them as a springboard for a discussion about your in-laws.
The above inventory comes from the book, The Marriage Mentor Manual, by Dr Les Parrott and Dr Leslie Parrot, published by Zondervan, www.zondervan.com. This small but powerful book is an excellent tool to help those who are mentoring another married couple —especially newlyweds. It’s an invitation for older married couples to help newlyweds —from the beginning —build unbreakable marital bonds. It’s a user’s manual —brief and to the point. While you may read The Marriage Mentor Manual on your own, it’s also designed to be used in conjunction with the “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” (SYMBIS) curriculum kit.
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