I remember when early in our marriage, Barbara went through periods of doubt as to how she was doing as a new wife. I would encourage her; saying, “You’re doing fine, you’re doing great.” But I felt powerless to really affirm her.

After we moved to Dallas, Barbara began attending a Bible study for young wives led by an older woman. This seasoned mother was on a mission—she loved coaching and encouraging these young moms. Under this woman’s mentoring, Barbara’s confidence soared as she saw that her struggles were not unique.

There’s no doubt that the early years of marriage are really important. Roles are hammered out. Adjustments made. Expectations clarified. It’s no wonder the divorce rate is the highest during the first five years of marriage.

I believe we could dramatically reduce divorce if more wives and mothers experienced what Barbara did—a mentor. A mentor is a woman who has been there, who has lived it, who has loved her husband faithfully (not perfectly) and has biblical values to pass on.

As Barbara says, “A husband’s encouragement means a lot, but sometimes it doesn’t mean as much as another woman who has been there, who has done it, who comes alongside.”

A number of years ago I watched with fascination as a dozen young wives and mothers answered the question: What would you like to see your church provide for you as a wife and mother? They were very clear in their responses—they didn’t want a video, a tape, a conference, another book or a radio program. They wanted a real live mom to talk to and cry with—someone they could relate to and ask questions.

So I started challenging older wives and moms to become mentors. Their response? “We don’t have all the answers. We’ve made too many mistakes.” You know what? That’s exactly the qualification you need to be a mentor.

The above article came from the devotional book, Moments Together for Couples by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Published by Regal Books (a division of Gospel Light). This is a collection of devotional thoughts for busy couples—practical works for husbands and wives who want to keep their trust in the Lord a daily focus and their commitment to each other a lifelong reality. As Dennis and Barbara say about this book,

“While you can use this devotional for your personal times with Jesus Christ, you will receive the greatest impact if you work through it day-by-day with your mate. In our experience, most Christian couples wish they spent time together praying and encouraging each other from the Bible—but they just don’t do it. They let other priorities crowd out what should be the most important aspect of their marriage relationship. We’d like to challenge you to set yourself part from the norm. Use this devotional to seek God together. Use these pages to grow closer together spiritually. Perhaps you could set aside a few minutes each night before you go to bed to read that day’s selection, answer the discussion question and then pray together. It will be the best investment you could make!”