“It is easier to deal with necessary separations
than ones we feel are unnecessary.”
(Diane, from Peterswife.org)
The above statement can be true or untrue for you. But whatever the case, when one spouse is away from the home for extended periods of time, it can cause a major strain on the household, the marital relationship, and on both individual spouses involved. With that being the case, we need to try to make the best of the situation as we can.
The article we’re featuring is one that comes from the web site www.peterswife.org which is a ministry dedicated to bring “help and encouragement for women living cross-culturally.” Not only is the content of this article helpful but as you scroll to the bottom you can click into “Hubby’s Away Comments” which also has some helpful information.
A lot of what is going to be discussed in this article can actually be adapted to help husband’s if their wives are away so keep that in mind if you know someone in that situation, and let them know about it.
And also keep in mind that the dynamics of every situation is different. If you want to adapt it to fit your marital situation or use all of it or none of it, you have that option. Just be prayerful and also flexible because like the saying goes, “Those who are flexible shall not break.”
To read the article, “When Hubby’s Away”:
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(SOUTH AFRICA) My husband goes away about 2w per month for the last 15 years. I raised 3 boys and a girl. Was it worth the money? On rebound a def no, no. We’ve lost out on a lot of things, intimacy, caring, love, you name it.
The only positive thing that came out is that we are glad to see each other. You become so set in your ways doing your own thing and it feels sometimes that we invading the other one’s privacy!
(U.S.) I would like to believe that absence can really be ok for a marriage but I have begun to think it’s impossible. My husband is away most of the time because of his job. Lately he is here about once a week, supposedly it will end late fall.
If it wasn’t for my deep faith that God hates divorce I don’t think I could have made it as far as I have. We love each other but I find the constant separation, with no time to talk a constant source of insecurity to me. I wonder about other women. I feel so emotionally disconnected from my husband. I have tried several things, all to no avail. It doesn’t do any good to read a book if you are the only person in the relationship that has time to care or notice.
My advice to any couple serious about keeping their marriage strong would be to try desperately to avoid situations that take each other for long terms away from one another. I know God is faithful and can see us through tough times but that doesn’t negate the burden separation puts on a marriage. I always think of that verse from Genesis, “It is not good for man to be alone, i will make him a help mate.” Well what if she is not anywhere around?
Perhaps many women would not feel as insecure as I do but if you have had trust issues in the past or perhaps previous extra-martial problems I would definitely avoid this if possible. I’m sorry to sound so discouraging but I couldn’t help but think some of the articles weren’t a little too Pollyanna for me. Marriage is hard and separation makes it harder. To me it’s just that simple.